Murray was only 10 months old when he was adopted by his forever
family. He was a shelter dog in need of a good home. While his
pre-adoptive life was challenging – he was likely abused by a former
owner – Murray found lifelong peace and happiness with his new family: a
young recently married couple now married 16 years.
Murray loved to run and play. He was an avid swimmer while young, and
we used to throw his favorite ball into a small, dog-friendly lake near
our apartment in a Chicago suburb. Murray would quickly fetch the ball
from the middle of the lake, bring it back, and beg us to throw it
again. We would do that repeatedly, and Murray never tired. His energy
and enthusiasm for life were infectious to all who knew him. He quickly
stole our hearts, and he became a vital part of our family.
After a year of apartment living, we moved to a townhome in another
Chicago suburb. Now, Murray had even more room to run and play, and he
didn’t waste a moment begging us to throw one of his now-many toys
across the room or down the stairs, so that he could fetch it and bring
it back. He had an amazing smile when he was happy. His eyes reflected
joy and unconditional love, which brightened our hearts despite whatever
work-related frustrations we might have felt in the moment.
Murray loved being outside. When the weather was nice, he used to join
us on our back porch overlooking a small cornfield. He would just lay
in the sun and sniff the sweet air without a care in the world. He
quickly learned how to jump on our bed, and he spent most of his life
sharing it with his family each night – especially during loud
thunderstorms. Murray was loved and adored, though his human mom
sometimes thought his human dad was occasionally a bit too coddling.
Given Murray’s reaction to the coddling, he likely didn’t mind as he
shifted position for yet another belly rub from dad.
In 2016, when Murray was nearly 10 years old, his family decided to
relocate to Oregon on a grand adventure. Murray welcomed the change
since he quickly transitioned into his new home: an apartment in
Portland. While Murray’s body was slowing down, his spirit did not. He
loved his family intensely, and he wanted to spend every moment with
them. Murray was always so excited whenever his dad brought him outside
to wait for his mom to come home from work. Murray wouldn’t budge –
even in the pouring rain – and even when his dad foolishly forgot his
umbrella. Murray would fixate on the building where his mom worked, and
nothing his dad could do would stop him from seeing mom leave the
building. Oh, how excited he got when she finally left the exit!
Murray’s tail would wag so hard that his entire back-end shifted left
and right with joyous expectancy. We would run towards his mom as she
crossed the street, and Murray would always jump to say hello. Seeing
her again was the highlight of his day. These moments were sweet and
numerous.
After two years of apartment living, Murray followed his family to
their new home in Tigard: a single-family home that was big enough for
all of Murray’s toys. He loved his new home. There were so many places
to walk – even a trail with countless trees to smell and explore.
Murray had a thousand different ways of projecting his loving
personality. The way he barked whenever we went anywhere near a
bathroom. The way his eyes sparkled when we picked up his favorite toy.
His endearing confusion and excited “I got you” bark whenever he and
his dad played hide-and-seek, and he found his dad hiding in a closet.
All these things combined for a long and happy life.
During his final years, Murray’s health was quickly declining, but he
still loved his family very much. Once the pandemic started, his dad
started working from home, and Murray was overjoyed to see him all day
after dad’s many years working in an office. Although Murray had
increasing difficulty walking and using stairs, he would still follow
his dad everywhere throughout the house – even when dad had yet another
Zoom meeting. Whenever his dad left the room, Murray would usually wait
about five minutes and then find out what dad was doing. If dad went
upstairs, Murray would follow and climb the steps despite failing hips.
And if dad had the audacity to go downstairs again, Murray would just
bark at the top of the stairs as if to let dad know that he – Murray –
just spent all that effort climbing the stairs to see dad and the least
dad could do was carry him down. Of course, dad obliged.
Murray was a terrific companion and quarantine buddy. He made
adjustment to the pandemic emotionally sustainable. Though his body was
quickly failing, he was always up for pets – especially the area under
his chin. He would quickly maneuver any pet on his head into that prime
position. Sometimes, his dad would sing to him, and Murray would just
bark right back – probably because dad can’t carry a tune. But that was
just Murray’s way.
Murray was the paradigm of unconditional love. He fought hard to stay
here. Despite multiple medical problems including probable nasal
cancer, a failing digestive system, and an increasing inability to walk
and stand, Murray loved life. He loved being a part of his family. He
found his purpose in that family because he touched the hearts of his
mom and dad so completely, and they let him know that. But, because mom
and dad loved him so much, they didn’t want him to suffer any longer.
Murray fell while eating breakfast on New Year’s Eve 2021. His hips
failed to support his body weight, and Murray injured his leg. This
must have frustrated him so completely. This wonderful creature – full
of life – who loved to run and play and fetch and swim was now shackled
to a body that no longer wanted to cooperate. Murray’s spirit was not
dampened, however. He loved his family and not even a failing body
could change that.
On his last day, Murray (now 15 years old) was happy despite his recent
injury. But he was also tired, and these years of increasing medical
issues were having an adverse effect on his quality of life. Like many
humans facing death, Murray seemed scared as death approached, but his
dad held him tight and told him that he has daddy’s permission to go and
be free. That he is loved. That he is loved. That he is loved. These
were the last repeating words that Murray heard. As Murray passed, he
knew that he had dad’s permission to travel to a place where there is no
pain. No cancer. No broken hips. Just limitless fields and warm
sunshine and plenty of space to romp and play – and, of course, swim
like he did when he was young. All he needed to do was let go. And so
he did.
Though there is a palpable absence in our home and hearts and an aching
unrelenting pain in saying goodbye to Murray, we remember the joy that
he brought to our lives. He was an amazing friend and companion. He
lived a long and full life. With love and purpose. And he will be
missed.
Thank you, Murray, for your years of unconditional love and support.
Mommy and daddy love you. Until we meet again, you will live on in our
hearts. Now go and be free.
